Topic 3: How to deal with gender power?

Activity 1: Unexpected Questions

You are a girl, and you call a friend (but not your romantic partner). Your situation:

Yesterday-night, I met a nice boy in a café. I got in a conversation with him. Suddenly the boy put his arm around me and started to caress me. I did not know how to respond. I quickly left with the excuse I had another appointment.

Did I do the right thing? He was such a nice boy…

You are a boy, and you call a friend (but not your romantic partner). Your situation:

Yesterday-night, I met a nice girl in a café. I got in a conversation with her. Suddenly she put her arm around me and started to caress me. I did not know how to respond. I quickly left with the excuse I had another appointment.

Did I do the right thing? She was such a nice girl…

You are a boy, and you are calling your second-best friend. Your situation:

On vacation, my best friend met a girl and they fell in love with each other. But my best friend was already involved with a girl at home for some time as well. His girl-friend at home is also my friend.

Should I tell her? If so, how? 

You are a girl, and you are calling your second-best friend. Your situation:

On vacation, my best friend met a girl and they fell in love with each other. But my best friend was already involved with a girl at home for some time as well. His girl-friend at home is also my friend.

Should I tell her? If so, how?

You are a girl, and you are calling your best friend.

I have a boyfriend. I really love him. He has indicated that he wants to go to bed with me. But he does not want to use a condom. He keeps saying “having sex is not nice with such a thing”.

I admit I would like to go to bed with him, but I think he should use a condom.

What can I do? He is really against condoms.

You are a boy, and you are calling your best friend.

I have a girlfriend. I really love her. I think she is ready to go to bed with me. But she does not want to use a condom. She says: “if we really love each other, a condom is not necessary”.

I really would like to go to bed with her, but I think I should use a condom.

What can I do?

You are a girl, but you used to be a boy. You started to take hormones two years ago, your breasts are larger with silicones, and you are wearing women’s attire. You look female and most people don’t notice anymore you are transgender. But your operation “below” is only when you are 18, and still a year away. You are calling your best friend.

Hi, I have a serious thing I want to ask you advice about. I have fallen in love with a guy. I think he has a thing for me as well. But you understand, my situation… I would like to date him, but when do I tell him? If I tell him right away, he may be shocked and run away immediately.

You are a boy, but you used to be a girl. You started to take hormones, you already had your breasts removed, and you are wearing boys clothing. You look attractively male, and no-one notices anymore you are transgender. But you decided not to have the operation “below”. You are calling your best friend.

Hi, I have a serious thing I want to ask you advice about. I have fallen in love with a guy. I think he has a thing for me as well. But you understand, my situation… I would like to date him, but when do I tell him? What if he does not want to date a person like me?

Activity 2: Wrap-up

What did you learn about how gender or gender expectations influence your identity and your life?